fassbendertheginger:

Dear Michael Fassbender,

Why aren’t you mine? Why can’t we be married? This isn’t the kind of situation like I have with Gerard Butler, where I know he’s a dirty bastard who will eventually fall for me (at least for one night). I don’t want you for just a night, and I’m not content with “eventually”. I look at photos of you and I’m filled with longing, lust and love. You are so beautiful and ginger and handsome and joyful. I love you so much.

Some people are eager to set you with up with random celebrity women now that you and Zoe Kravitz are (finally) done. It’s like they don’t know you at all. You’re not going to end up with some blonde cat-face. You’re not going to end up with some twitchy, emo It Girl. I know what you like. You like dark girls with juicy lips and loads of self-confidence. You like them a little bit crazy (or a lot crazy). You like to rub your ginger on Mocha Vagina (my Bond Girl name, FYI).

These new photos of you - at last night’s NYC premiere of A Dangerous Method - are ridiculous. “Ridiculous” meaning “You’re wearing the f–k out of that suit and the camera is molesting every inch of your beauty.” I’m so glad you don’t look methy or crackie in these photos - I feel like you’ve lost some weight recently. Are you sick? Stressed out? Or did you lose weight for a movie? I know you do that sometimes, because you’re so talented and “method”. I really like your scruff - and I love the length of your hair these days. I hope you grow it out even longer. Will you do that for me?

I hope you are the best reviewed cast member out of A Dangerous Method. I don’t mind Viggo, but honestly, every other actor can eat a bag of dicks compared to you and your talent. Are you preparing for the awards season? I hope you are. I hope you get nominated for ‘Method’ (Best Supporting) and/or Shame (Best Actor). I hope you’re a double nominee. I hope you grace every red carpet. I hope you continue to work the hell out of your suits and tuxedos. I hope you win and you stand up there at the Kodak Center and you tear up during your broguey victory speech.

But really, I hope you come to Virginia to propose to me very soon.

Sincerely yours,
K.

via Celebitchy

submitted by teamerikfassbender 

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Hi Guys! Let me know what you think, it might be a bit rushed…but I’m happy to write more! :)

I stood over the bed glancing down at my outfit for what felt like the 10^th time that night. My shoes, my dress and my accessories were laid out for me. One of the joys of being the assistant to the director before production had started. A large party was being held in honour of the production and everyone was getting dressed up in black and white for the occasion. I stood with a towel around my waist ready to jump in the shower. My hair was tied back in a ponytail as it had been straightened and looked very sleek. I sighed and went into the bathroom. I had 1 hour to be ready before I had to in the lobby ready to leave. I went to turn on the taps in the shower. Nothing came on. “Oh…come on you stupid thing you worked this morning!’” I yelled at the taps. They still didn’t turn on. I turned them off and threw my arms up with disgust. Now what was I to do. I decided to ring Steve. He was the director and maybe he could come and help. I paced towards the hotel room phone and dialled the number. His room was down the other end of the hallway. It rung twice and someone picked up. Definately not a familiar voice, ‘Hello?’ he asked. ‘Uh…yes, I was looking for Steve?’ I asked. ‘Sorry, love his stepped out. I can pass on a message?’ he asked in a mixed accent. I chuckled nervously, ‘Uh well it’s kind of urgent. See my shower won’t turn on, and I know maintenance will take ages to fix it, and I need to get ready for this party,’ ‘Uh I see that is urgent. Well I’m about to get ready myself, you’re welcome to use my shower.’ He added. I paused, ‘I don’t want to impose,’ I added. ‘You wouldn’t be. I’ll meet you at my room I’m in room 124, and you can get ready in my room. Bring your things,’ he added. ‘Thank You so much, you’re a lifesaver, 124, you’re next to me,’ I added. ‘I’ll see you shortly then,’ he replied and he hung up the phone. I sighed relieved and put on my white dressing gown I collected my shoes, my dress, make up everything I needed and scooped them up in both my arms. I rushed to the door, struggling to open it and stepped out into the hallway. As I stepped outside I noticed someone walking down the hall towards me. Maybe it was him. I walked slowly to the next door and stood outside. His pace quickened and I could then get a better view of him. Oh crap. It was him. He smiled as he got closer, ‘Hello Love.’ He said smiling widely. I smiled back and stood awkwardly with my things in my arm. She took out his keys and unlocked the door. He stepped aside and held open the door for me, I smiled as I stepped inside. He shut the door behind me. ‘Uh, Bathroom is through there. Would you like a drink? I’m going to have a beer?’ he asked. ‘Sure that would be great, thank you. I’m Lauren Woods by the way,’ I added. Reaching out my hand from under my things. He smiled and took my hand. His hand was warm, rough and strong, ‘Michael Fassbender. Nice to meet you,’ he replied. Our hands lingered and I moved away swiftly. I glanced around the room. It was fairly clean. His suit was hanging from the rail above his bed with his shoes on the floor. ‘Do you need to shower first?’ I asked. He shook his head. ‘That’s okay, I’ll take 5 minutes. You go ahead.’ He said. “I’ll call maintenance for you,’ he said. ‘Thank You!’ I exclaimed scurrying into the bathroom shutting the door behind me.

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WILD HANDSOME SHARK CAUGHT HUNTING FISH IN NATURAL HABITAT 

thank you to Alissa for the submission!

He leads you to the elevator with his hand on your back as low as it can be touching you on what is considered your back and not your ass. Once you’re in the elevator and he pushes the button, he doesn’t remove it. You don’t ask him to.

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Penn Badgley has joined the crazy wall street people and might get his lil ass locked up and then Michael will have to go over and bang er I mean console Zoe over it. It’s a good thing that Penn is trying to get locked up cuz everyone knows that you don’t fuck with Fassbender’s property. Nope that will get you hurt so Penn has quickly figured how to not get hurt and that is by getting himself arrested since he and Zoe have been seen kissing and cuddling all over NYC where Michael is now. The Fassman might even give a shout out to Penn for standing up for something but he better leave Zoe alone before Michael starts kicking like a river dancer and kicks Penn’s ass

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/penn-badgley-joins-protestors-at-occupy-wall-street-2011610

fassdongfantasies submission from Bellydancer

ronsencock:

Fassy you need something to keep that boy in line. He’s trying to say hello to everyone while you’re working.

shamefullyyours:

thedarkknightlegend:

I look like hell but first: Michael’s autograph~

I like to say he has a very nice manly autograph. Most men I see have some sloppy ass handwriting. Thats a very good sign he is well skilled with his fingers. :P