fassbendertheginger:

Dear Michael Fassbender,

Why aren’t you mine? Why can’t we be married? This isn’t the kind of situation like I have with Gerard Butler, where I know he’s a dirty bastard who will eventually fall for me (at least for one night). I don’t want you for just a night, and I’m not content with “eventually”. I look at photos of you and I’m filled with longing, lust and love. You are so beautiful and ginger and handsome and joyful. I love you so much.

Some people are eager to set you with up with random celebrity women now that you and Zoe Kravitz are (finally) done. It’s like they don’t know you at all. You’re not going to end up with some blonde cat-face. You’re not going to end up with some twitchy, emo It Girl. I know what you like. You like dark girls with juicy lips and loads of self-confidence. You like them a little bit crazy (or a lot crazy). You like to rub your ginger on Mocha Vagina (my Bond Girl name, FYI).

These new photos of you - at last night’s NYC premiere of A Dangerous Method - are ridiculous. “Ridiculous” meaning “You’re wearing the f–k out of that suit and the camera is molesting every inch of your beauty.” I’m so glad you don’t look methy or crackie in these photos - I feel like you’ve lost some weight recently. Are you sick? Stressed out? Or did you lose weight for a movie? I know you do that sometimes, because you’re so talented and “method”. I really like your scruff - and I love the length of your hair these days. I hope you grow it out even longer. Will you do that for me?

I hope you are the best reviewed cast member out of A Dangerous Method. I don’t mind Viggo, but honestly, every other actor can eat a bag of dicks compared to you and your talent. Are you preparing for the awards season? I hope you are. I hope you get nominated for ‘Method’ (Best Supporting) and/or Shame (Best Actor). I hope you’re a double nominee. I hope you grace every red carpet. I hope you continue to work the hell out of your suits and tuxedos. I hope you win and you stand up there at the Kodak Center and you tear up during your broguey victory speech.

But really, I hope you come to Virginia to propose to me very soon.

Sincerely yours,
K.

via Celebitchy